There’s something magical about 2 AM conversations with the girls you grew up with—or the ones who grew with you. The kinds of women who saw you at your worst (a bad breakup, a bangs you didn’t need, that one time you cried in a McDonald’s bathroom) and your best (new job, better man, self-love). And while not every story is made for a group chat, some are simply too heavy to carry alone.
I never had a crowd. Not the glittering entourage that walks into brunch like a magazine cover shoot. My circle’s small—three women, a lot of dogs (lol), and a silent agreement that judgement is banned here. But in this small, sacred sisterhood, I’ve learned the kind of love that’s quieter than romance and louder than silence. The kind that shows up. That stays.
And maybe that’s the real heart of it—every woman needs a tribe.
Coffee, Cosmos, and Crying Over Nothing
When you think of strong female friendship, it’s impossible not to think of Sex and the City. Four women with wildly different lives and even wilder options, yet they came back to each other like homing pigeons with fabulous shoes. Carrie, Miranda, Charlotte, and Samantha didn’t have perfect friendships. They fought. They took breaks. They said things they couldn’t unsay. But when life collapsed—when men broke their hearts, when careers shifted, when they questioned their choices—they didn’t sit in that loneliness. They phoned a friend. Usually three.
Their brunches weren’t just brunches. They were therapy, love letters, interventions, and laugh attacks. They were the proof that female friendships aren’t some sparkly side dish to romantic relationships—they are the main course.
And when Samantha had cancer, it was her girls who lifted up her spirit. Tell me that’s not love.
“I’ll Be There for You” Wasn’t Just a Jingle
Then there’s Friends. Okay, yes, they drank too much coffee and didn’t lock their doors, but the bond? SOLID. Monica’s maternal instincts, Phoebe’s feral loyalty, Rachel’s evolution from princess to powerhouse—they weren’t alone in any of it. Even Ross (questionable as he was) had people rooting for him, calling him out, loving him anyway.
What made friends iconic wasn’t just the jokes—it was the consistent reminder that your chosen family often outlasts the one you’re born into. That someone will always help you move the couch. That someone will scream “My eyes!” when they accidentally walk in on you. And still, they’ll love you.
That’s the secret sauce of strong friendships—they witness your mess without walking away.
When Love and Relationship Change, But Your Friends Stay
Here’s a not-so-fun truth—sometimes love changes. Sometimes, the man you thought you’d marry becomes a footnote. Sometimes, your job relocates you, or you relocate for someone who eventually forgets why you came. And sometimes, you realize you’ve been pouring all your energy into relationships that leave you drained.
That’s where your girls come in. Female friendships are the soft landing when life knocks you down barefoot. They remind you who you were before the heartbreak. They hold up the mirror when you can’t see your own power. And sometimes, they just send you a meme that makes you snort in the middle of your sadness.
Because good girlfriends are the kind of love that doesn’t expire.
My Circle Isn’t Big, But It’s Solid
I used to envy the women with endless birthday party group photos and 37 bridesmaids. But I realized one day, probably in pajamas over a cheap bottle of wine with my girls, that big doesn’t always mean better.
My circle? We don’t talk everyday. We miss calls. We ghost each other by accident (and sometimes, let’s be honest, on purpose). But when one of us needs a lifeline, the signal is strong. When someone lands a new gig, we’re screaming over voice notes. When someone breaks down at 11 PM, someone else is already at the door in slippers.
We’ve sat on the kitchen floors together. Made bad decisions and worse cocktails. We’ve told each other the truth—even when it stung. We’ve clapped for each other louder than anyone else ever has.
And that’s what female friendships feel like when they’re real—a warm room when the world feels cold.
The Science (And Soul) Behind Female Friendship
Here’s a little something from the science nerds—women release more oxytocin when connecting with friends. That’s the “love hormone”. Translation? Your body physically feels better when you’re around your girls. That’s not just cute—it’s powerful.
Strong friendships are linked to lower stress, longer lives, better mental health, and a deeper sense of self-worth. Not to mention, they remind you who you are outside of your job title, relationship status, or latest failure. They cheer for your wins, cry with your losses, and text you “you’re a bad b*tch” on days you forget.
And in a world that constantly tells women to be smaller, quieter, prettier, or more palatable—your girls remind you to be more you.
How to Build (And Keep) Your Tribe
Okay, so what if you don’t have your core group yet? Or you’ve outgrown people who no longer feel like home? That’s okay. Building strong friendships isn’t about numbers or history—it’s about intention.
Here are few things I’ve learned:
- Show up.Even when you’re tired. Even if it’s just a “thinking of you” text. Friendship isn’t always a grand gesture—it’s consistency.
- Be honest.Say what you need. Say what you can’t give. Good friendships are built on truth, not politeness.
- Celebrate her. Her wins aren’t your losses. Her glow-up doesn’t dim yours. Clap for her like it’s your own success.
- Apologize well.You will mess up. So will she. Learn to say sorry and mean it.
- Make space.For her voice. For her story. For her silence.
Your People Are Your Power
So here’s the love letter I wish someone had written to me years ago:
You don’t need a thousand followers, a perfect relationship, or a life that looks good on Instagram. What you need—what we all need—is a table with a few good women, a bottle of something to share, and stores that stretch into the night.
You need a friend who’ll text you after reading this, saying, “This reminded me of us.” The one who remembers your childhood nickname. The one who once held your hand in a clinic, a courtroom, or a karaoke bar after a bad date.
So find your women. Keep them close. Water that garden.
Because love and relationships will come and go. But your girls? They are your forever kind of love.
And that’s something even Carrie Bradshaw would write a column about.
